6/1998 iCE Pack
2. Doodlebug, our PR Spokeperson and star of Cleopatra Jones, was seriously wounded during the mad rush when the tour bus unloaded the new members of iCE. In order of the number of testicular nodules, here is the new crew that can be seen walking the cramped halls of our office space: The Knave - an old ACiD fellow, attended his first iCE Sleep-over, and held the candle with the lights out and told us all about his childhood fears. Needless to say, we all felt the same way about the Kool-Aid Man(tm), so he was admitted immediately. Shoten, an energetic vga artist, told us of his love for fresh packing tape on his "nether regions", and was unanimously welcomed. Mads Vester, a friendly Dane, felt funny around dogs - resulting in a fantastic welcome! Nosegos showed us his embarassing birthmark and the fun just didn't stop there, so he was quickly brought into the fold.
3. Trauma and iCE have parted ways, sadly rather unpleasantly. Trauma will most likely never be returning to iCE, but we wish him well in all his endeavors and sexual conquests.
4. Inazone, along with his sock puppet Guido, will be taking over for Kadaver and Count Zer0 as the new ansi coordinator. He told us to let everyone know that he has a shiny new bike and rides it every day and his mom said they can take the training wheels off next week if he's good. But he refuses to eat the broccoli, and complains that it's not fair that he has to ride a bike with training wheels at age 22. She told him to go to his room.
5. Vesalius, now a full doctor with a family and a serious love for turds, has just become too busy to keep up his zany, crazy job of VGA Coordinator. While we were sulking over who to choose as the new VGA head, Roland came around the corner holding aloft his brand new AK-47 with a crowd of angry FBI agents directly behind him. As a result, Roland is the new VGA Head. His first act was to declare himself VGA Coordinator For Life (VCFL), so we expect to be working with him for quite some time in the future.
6. Slothy, that assy Lord Soth turd, is now Senior Staff again. Bad move, but everyone's entitled to their mistakes. Word on the street is that Slothy is already plotting to collect a tax on childbirth in order to finally purchase his very own Oscar Meyer food plant. Grand plans - let's see what comes of it.
7. We hope you enjoy this pack! The ansi team all came out this month to take part in the grand party we had. We put on our skimpiest clothes and showed off what we got and shook it all around the dance floor, and we think you'll dig our swinging shimmy - we know that Sinned Soul of ACiD sure does.
- Lord Soth
